I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
