I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
