is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just found a bag of teeth...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
