Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
