i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
