3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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