your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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