Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
