brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
