Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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