It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
you never un-have a 4some
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
