The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
