Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize