hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
