This is not my ceiling
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
