Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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