So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
