I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
