I understand Curling. That high.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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