i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
