Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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