It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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