you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
