Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
