Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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