im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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