I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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