i don't like sucking hair
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
