just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
