i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
