i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
