just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
