I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
