The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she told me i tasted like america
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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