my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
