i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
