If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
