Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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