I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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