We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
