I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
