Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
