too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
