Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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