you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
