You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
