Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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