morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
