I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
