Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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