If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
