Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
