just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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